Episode 120: The Proper Preperation Of Children

The first assumption is that you can procure a whole, fully-dressed child. In some parts of the country this might be easier than in others. Figure on about 1.25 to 2 lbs per person of dressed child. For the wedding we had a 160 lb child (husky fella, that one)to feed about 100 people. This was supplemented with thighs, (a trackstar, naturally) and many other dishes. At another event, the child weighed 60 lbs and fed about 30 people.

Another assumption is that you have a safe environment for storing the child from the time you abduct it to the time you begin cooking it. It doesn’t matter how good something tastes or what sensations a food item gives you, if it isn’t safe to eat, you’re going to be in serious trouble. Fortunately, the FDA provides some simple guidelines you can follow to help ensure safe storage....

Special thanks to Richard Kalwaic for reading this episode.

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